Midwest (based in Chicago),
Southeast (based in Atlanta),
Mid-Atlantic (based in Washington, DC),
Southwest (based in Los Angeles),
Great Lakes (based in Detroit),
Deep South (based in Fort Lauderdale),
Northwest (based in San Francisco) and
Lone Star (based in Dallas).
Thank you for your interest in the ONYX NY/Northeast (ONYX-NE) Chapter. Following is a list of frequently asked questions and answers to provide insight into the organization.
“What is ONYX?”
— ONYX is an organization that supports ethnic and racial diversity in the gay leather community. For over twenty-four years, the organization has worked to empower gay men of color and our allies to find support, education and growth in a safe and sane manner. We provide education about our community, safety and history to empower men of color in our community (and the larger community) to integrate these practices into their lives without shame or judgement. Additionally, we also raise funds to support charitable organizations that focus on LGBT people of color, HIV and youth organizations.
“How is ONYX NY/Northeast different than ONYX?”
— ONYX NY/Northeast is one of nine regional chapters of The Men of ONYX Inc., which is a national organization. As such, we are the regional entity of a larger, nationally-governed organization.
“When does ONYX NY/NE meet and have events?”
— ONYX NY/Northeast hosts our bar night on the second Saturday of each month at the NYC Eagle, 554 W. 28th Street, NYC, from 7pm to 10pm. To receive updates on bar nights and other ONYX Events, sign up for our email list or follow us on social media (Facebook: ONYX NY Northeast; IG: ONYX_ny_northeast). We also support other leather events, which can be local (e.g., NYC Black Pride, Folsom Street East), regional (e.g. New York Pride in June, Mr. NY Eagle and most regional leather competitions), national (e.g. ONYX Blackout, International Mr. Leather in Chicago, C.L.A.W. in Cleveland), Mid-Atlantic Leather in DC), and nationally sponsored ONYX events.
“I am a transgender person of color. Am I allowed to join ONYX as a Full Member?”
— Yes, but only if you identify as a gay or bisexual transman. Transmen and transwomen who identify as heterosexual can only join as Associate members.
“Can I join ONYX NY/Northeast if I’m a gay/bi/transgendered man of color who lives outside of the region?”
— Gay, bi or transgendered men of color who live outside of the NY/Northeast region are welcome to join as an associate member. Our Chapter area encompasses New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and New England states.
“I don’t identify as a gay/bisexual man of color. Can I still join ONYX?”
— Yes! ONYX is an inclusive organization that supports all forms of diversity, including members that do not identify as gay, bi or transgender men of color. This group includes women of color, transwomen, Caucasians and heterosexuals. All are welcome to join the organization as “Associate Members”, who are part of the organization but do not hold voting rights or the ability to hold an office.
“Isn’t ONYX’s membership policy discriminatory against non-men of color?”
— No. ONYX provides an informational and social organization to address issues specific to people of color who choose to project the positive aspects of the leather lifestyle. To this end, we create an environment where men of color can express their thoughts and feelings openly and freely. As allies, it is important to recognize the need for these men to have an organization that supports their interests and needs. By doing so, we provide a unique contribution to the diverse array of leather BDSM, kink and fetish groups.
Once a person meets the membership criteria, he is eligible to become a Full Member of the organization. Anyone wishing to join as Associate Members can automatically choose to do so.
“How do pledges become full members of ONYX?”
— Anyone wishing to join ONYX starts the process as a pledge. Pledges go through a “pledge period” that lasts three to four months in which they are required to participate in ONYX events and meetings. During this process, a pledge decides if he can fully commit to being a full member. Additionally, pledges are required to learn about the history of ONYX, show dedication to ONYX, and will undergo a final evaluation by the officers of the chapter. Only by completing this process can an individual become a full member (or a full brother) of the organization.
“What does it mean to be a full member of ONYX?”
— The prerequisites for being a full member of ONYX is that you are current on your annual dues; acquire the basic uniform (blue or black jeans, leather vest and leather boots), and have an interest in the BDSM, Kink, Bear, Leather, Levi lifestyles. As an active full member, you have the privilege of attending our closed meetings where we discuss ONYX business, plan our calendar of events, etc. Additionally, you have a vote in deciding major ONYX decisions as well as deciding ONYX leadership. You will receive one large patch and a small patch as a sign of your membership.
“What are Associate Members?”
— Associate members are members of ONYX but do not have voting rights. They are still welcomed into the organization, and will receive 2 small patches as a sign of membership.
“Do ONYX members pay dues?”
— Yes. We ask full members to pay $150 and associate members $100 in annual dues to help with operating costs, etc. Both levels of membership will have up to 90 days to submit full payment of said dues.
“How much time will I have to dedicate to the organization on a monthly basis?”
— Generally, members and pledges typically dedicate six hours per month for both our bar night (four hours) and our monthly meeting (two hours). We note that these hours may vary depending on the event(s) and discussions at our meetings.
“I love ONYX, but it seems like it is too time consuming, my needs are met elsewhere, or my pledge process was not successful. Can I still be a part of ONYX?”
— Of course! Everyone is welcomed into ONYX regardless of their schedules, their needs, or if the pledge process was not successful. You are still welcome to join as an associate member.
The Hanky Code is a longstanding tradition and means of communication within the LGBT community. It is also known as flagging. The hanky code is a color-coded system in which an individual wears a specific colored handkerchief in their back pocket(s) to inform others of their sexual interests and roles. Placing a hanky in the left pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a top/dominant role, while a hanky in the right pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a bottom/submissive role.
The hanky code is thought to have originated with gold rush settlers in San Francisco in the mid-19th century. A shortage of female dance partners meant men danced together, using hankies to indicate their role as lead or follow. Hankies were worn tied around the arm, tucked into the belt or the back pocket. Sources differ on whether the lead wore a handkerchief on the left, or a blue handkerchief. Additionally, the follow may have worn a handkerchief on the right, or a red handkerchief. In either case, the use of placement and color to communicate roles and preferences form the basic aspects of the hanky code that is known today.
During the 1960s and 1970s, gay men wore hankies not only to signify their roles, but also their sexual preferences and fetishes. The hanky code became an established way of identifying, at a glance, compatibility and interest. Initially the colors were limited to black, blue, yellow, red and white, which were the colors that most handkerchief companies produced. From the 1980s onward, the hanky code has expanded to a broader spectrum of colors and materials than originally conceived.
With the advent of the internet, people were better able to connect and explore, express and discover new or existing fetishes. The hanky code expanded to encompass these fetishes, communicating interests through new colors and even new fabrics, such as leather or lace. The color system has also expanded beyond hankies to other accessories. It is not uncommon to have harnesses, singlets, or leather articles in a color derived from the hanky code to indicate a desirable fetish or sexual interest.
The Hanky Code is a prime example of a theory in sociology called Symbolic Interaction (SI). Symbolic Interaction is defined by applying meaning and value to people, places or things. It is a counterpart of instincts where we are born knowing certain information. SI is learned through experiences. For example, we are not born with the knowledge that Gucci is a high-end brand. Similarly, we are not born with the knowledge that red can symbolize fisting.
